How to Help Your Adult Son or Daughter with Addiction
If you have searched “how to help my son with addiction” at 2am, NorthStar Regional wrote this for you. Son or daughter, this is not your fault, and there are concrete things you can do tonight. We cover the signs of addiction worth taking seriously and how to start the conversation. Parents start admissions with us every day, with coverage checked first and a driver sent anywhere in the metro. We accept Medical Assistance (Medicaid) and most major insurers, and we will be ready the moment your child agrees.
Licensed Treatment Programs
Founded 2015
Addiction and mental health care in one system
Multiple Campuses
Across the Twin Cities metro
MN Department of Health: Licensed
MN Department of Human Services: Licensed
What to Know First
Parents Don't Cause Addiction, and Love Alone Doesn't Cure It
By the time most parents find this page, they have already tried everything a loving parent can think of. Money, rules, rescues, silence, ultimatums, and lying awake going over all of it. If nothing has worked, that is not proof you failed. Addiction is a health condition, not a judgment of your parenting. It does not respond to willpower, yours or theirs.
What does work is treatment matched to the person, and a family that knows its role. Since 2015, NorthStar Regional has worked with sons and daughters, and with the parents who worry about them every day. That means medical care for the body, real therapy for the mind, and community for the loneliness. Every level of care stays with them, from withdrawal management all the way into sober housing. Your role is different from ours, and just as needed. This page is about doing your part without losing yourself in it.
Trust what you're seeing
Signs Your Child May Have a Substance Use Problem
No single sign proves anything, and you don’t need proof to act. If several of these have become the pattern, your worry is information.
The Money Stopped Adding Up
Constant borrowing with stories that keep changing. Things of value quietly going missing. A paycheck that is gone.
You're Talking to a Stranger
The personality changed. Warmth gave way to a short temper or absence, talks feel managed, and eyes don’t quite land on yours anymore.
The Schedule Went Underground
Vague whereabouts, new friends without names, hours that don’t match any job or class. Then defensiveness the moment you ask.
The Body Is Keeping Score
Weight changing in either direction, and sleep at strange hours or not at all. Pupils and energy that don’t fit the situation, and a change in how they look that you notice right away.
Obligations Are Falling
The job lost or barely held, classes dropped, court dates and appointments missed. When responsibilities drop off one by one, something else is taking that time.
Your Gut Already Knows
You found something, or almost did. You rehearse conversations in the shower. You’ve started this phone call a dozen times. That instinct deserves action, not more evidence.
Want to understand what they are up against? Every substance we treat is explained on its own page. Explore addiction treatment, or read about the mental health conditions that so often come with it.
Plan of Action
What You Can Do Starting Tonight
You can’t make an adult choose recovery, but you can make recovery the easiest choice available. Three steps, in order.
Move one
Call Us Before You Talk to Them
Parents call us first every day, and it changes everything. You will know their coverage, the right level of care, and what admission really looks like before the talk happens. You stop offering vague hope and start offering a plan with a date on it.
Move two
Have the Conversation as an Invitation
Pick a sober, calm moment. Say what you’ve seen, say what you feel, and offer the plan: “I called. You’re covered. They can pick you up tomorrow.” No lectures, and no ultimatums to open with. People are more likely to accept help when they are invited, but they resist when they feel pressured.
Move three
When They Say Yes, Move Fast
A yes can fade within hours, which is why we admit same day or next day and send a driver anywhere. You can be on the pickup call with the coordinator and driver, so your child never wonders if this is real. Then the ride, a meal, and straight into care.
If they say no: stay in the conversation, stop funding the addiction, and take care of your own life while you wait. Many people say yes on the fifth ask. We’ll be ready on whichever ask it is.
After they're in
Your Part in Their Treatment and Your Own Support
Once your child is admitted, your role changes from rescuing them to supporting their treatment. With their written permission, we keep you in the loop. Family programming brings you into the work through family prep groups that run inside treatment. In family therapy, everyone gets a neutral professional to guide the talks that never went well at home. Recovery lasts longer when the family heals alongside the client.
Your recovery is real too. Years of crisis change a parent. Support groups like Al-Anon and Nar-Anon exist specifically for families, and they meet across the Twin Cities and online. You didn’t cause this, you can’t control it, and you don’t have to deal with it alone.
How Admission Works
What Happens From Your First Call to Your First Night
You did the hard part when you picked up the phone. Here is exactly what happens next, so nothing about day one is a mystery.
You Call and a Real Person Answers
When you call, you’ll talk to a person, not a phone tree. They’ll ask one short question: Is this about substance use or mental health? You don’t have to tell your whole story. We ask only what we need and help with the rest.
We Help with the Details
Our team helps review your benefits, and a short screening covers withdrawal risk, medical needs, and mental health, so we can match you with the right level of care. Then we schedule your start as soon as we can.
We Pick You Up
You get reminder calls and texts before pickup. Your admissions coordinator and your driver also call you together, so you know who’s coming, what car to look for, and when to expect them. Most of our drivers are in long-term recovery themselves, and yours will help with your bags.
A Real Person Meets You When You Arrive
You get reminder calls and texts before pickup. Your admissions coordinator and your driver also call you together, so you know who’s coming, what car to look for, and when to expect them. Many of our drivers are in long-term recovery themselves, and yours will help with your bags.
“The client has done the hard work by picking up the phone. We will carry them the rest of the way.”
Sarah Roy, Executive Vice President
Questions we hear every day
Questions Parents Ask
How do I get my adult son or daughter into treatment?
You can start it yourself: call us at (833) 677-4673 and tell us what’s happening. We’ll help you understand the options, check coverage, and plan the conversation. When your child says yes, even tentatively, we can often admit them the same day or the next, and we come pick them up.
Can I force my adult child into rehab?
In almost all cases in Minnesota, an adult chooses treatment for themselves. What you control is the environment around that choice: conversations, clear boundaries, and a door that’s ready the moment they walk through it. We’ll help you build all three.
What are the signs of addiction I should take seriously?
Money disappearing, sleep and appetite swings, new secrecy about whereabouts, pupils or energy that don’t match the hour, missing work or school, old friends gone and new ones unnamed, and the feeling that you’re talking to a stranger. You don’t need certainty to call us. You need concern.
What if they refuse treatment?
Stay in the conversation and stop funding the addiction. Both of those are compatible with love. Many people say yes on the fifth ask, not the first. We will coach you on staying connected and continuing to offer help without sacrificing your own wellbeing, and you can call us as often as you need.
Will you tell me what's happening during their treatment?
Yes, with your child’s written permission. Family stays in the loop and family programming brings you into the work itself. Without permission, federal privacy law protects their treatment. We’ll still always help you with your side of it.
Do you treat young adults?
Yes. Our treatment programs serve adults 18 and older, including young adults 18 to 25, with separate men’s and women’s residential campuses. We don’t offer services for teens. But if your child is under 18, call anyway and we will point you to the right programs.
What will treatment cost us?
Very likely less than you fear. Medicaid covers most of our clients, and we’re in-network with most major insurers. Minnesota’s Behavioral Health Fund covers most people with no insurance, and our team helps review your benefits. See how coverage works.
Admissions
Make the First Call and We'll Take It from There
Confidential, no obligation, and answered by someone who knows what you’re facing and cares to listen.